Naples man arrested at bank claims he’s CIA director, half orangutan

A Naples man is accused of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after an incident Friday outside a bank, where he told deputies he was half orangutan and needed to call the “Fusion Center” to ask about his monkey blood.

Good thing they double-checked and made absolutely sure he wasn’t the CIA Director first…because, you know, if you are it is apparently okay to pull a gun on someone who is nice enough to let you know your car might be about to burst into flames.